Friday 12 July 2013

My marriage is just less than a year and I'm back in the arms of my first love


My name is Chi.I'm Ibo.please read my story.

I met Banky when I was 18 years old.We got admitted into the same university of Ibadan at the same time.Banky is just few months older than me which gives me the security and assurance that he's older than me even  though its just 6 months.Bankole was my first love.He meant the entire world to me.He treated me like a king would a queen.He loved me so much and I loved him back.We dated throughout our years in the university.Nothing ever came between us.we had a way of settling our differences.since we got together no day ever passed without us seeing each other.Even on holidays and strikes,we spent it together.During school vacation,I spent most of my holidays at his house and just the last week of resumption at mine.His parents had no problem with that because they already accepted me as their son's wife.Oh God!Bankole spoilt me silly.Gifts,surprises,dates just name it.isnt that the kind of love every girl prayed for?I got mine in Banky and I was grateful to God for our lives together.
Five years ago,He travelled to United States to further his education.We both wanted him to travel.it was part of our plans.A year after he got to the states,I was lucky enough to also secure a visa to join him.There and then,I was completely convinced we were meant to be together.On my birthday that same year,the luv of my life proposed to me and I gladly accepted.We fixed a date for our traditional wedding to take place in Nigeria. While the preparation was on,we decided to check our blood group.Alas!we are both AS.My world came crashing before me.We both cried.That was the most difficult moment of our lives.We cancelled the wedding and took the most difficult decision of our lives to go our separate ways.It's worse than losing someone.
We both moved on.But there was never a day I didn't think of him.I haven't loved anyone before.he was my first.We were too connected.Last year march,I got married to someone else.I had to get married to completely erase Banky off my mind.It wasn't easy.I was losing myself.My husband is good to me but I still think of my first luv.
Now to the difficult part.Two months ago on my way from work,I stopped by a grocery store to get somethings for the house.I opened the door leading to the shop and standing right before  me was Banky.We couldn't believe our eyes.The last time we saw was when we ended our relationship 3years ago.We went straight to his car to do some catch ups.We both cried.He's married too.Since that day,we have been seeing each other secretly.He still the one true love I know.Now how do I stop this secret  affair with him.Im not ready to let him go again.Two nights ago he gave me a pure gold pendant with his initial on it.Ive been wearing it since as a symbol of our love and to feel his connection whenever he's not with me.Let me explain to you all,Bankole is every woman 's dream.He is tall,slim,milky conplextion and very good looking.I know some will say I'm digging my grave.at this moment I just don't seem to care.As long as my true love is there,nothing really matters anymore.

I purposely sent it to your blog cos it's a new blog and I don't want too much people commenting and judging me.
Chi girl
New Jersey 

23 comments:

  1. Before now when I read stories like this,I find it hard to believe.But I have a blog now and believe me,people actually send these stories in.Real people,true stories.

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    1. Your blog has become a one stop shop for matters of the heart -loving it !!

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  2. my dear biko u have to stp.. I dont knw how o, buh just stop, if ur husband finds out, it ll break his hrt cos according to ur story he doesnt knw abt banky, n by d way its adultry. Thanks #myah

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  3. oh no dis is bad.lyke wat d first anonymous said,u av 2 stop.im not in a position to judge u considering d circumstances but try.i know its d hardest thing 2do.u lost him once and u don't want 2 lose him again but look for dat inner strength in u and stop d relationship.if u don't stop it first he'll later come bk and still break up wt u because he's also married and men of these days don't leave their wives o.sorry darlyn.the Lord will be ur strenght

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  4. ha no no dis is not advisable o.my sis abeg stop.wot if ur husband finds out?he's goin to throw u out and Banky may not even accept u bk.i hope u know wat u are doin?try and luv ur husband.see him as d luv of ur life now.if u can manage without Banky for three yrs then u can do without him 4ever.bullshit happens,u av moved on,dont look bk pls.continue to move on.i hate falling in luv.i luv with my head and eyes not with my heart.fuck love abeg and move on with ur husband.

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  5. Toun wat do u say to this?

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    1. Mrs G, most of u have given her the best advise a sister would.

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  6. what do u want us to tell u?

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    1. thanx anon.i only want pple's second thought and opinion on my predicament

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    2. u knw wat to do, oko fe gbewa lenu jo ni. i wish u d best n i hope u do d right thing as u dnt have options sef

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  7. I sincerely thank everyone for their comments so far.I appreciate ur advise and prayers.
    @anon 10:43 my husband knows abt him but I didn't tell him aw deep my feelings still are for my ex.
    @YUMMY MUMMY,thanx dear sis and thx for not judging me
    @MRS G thank u for ur comment and I promise to put every advise to use.I know i'm in between d devil and d blue sea but I will scale thru IJN

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  8. As I read this story my heart skipped a beat when you spoke about the blood groups and how it was the cause of the relationship coming to an end ...you both seemed to have had a wonderful relationship.

    What more can I say than ask you why you're taunting yourself by secretly dating a man who you know you can never be with ?

    If the tables were turned and you found out that your husband was having an extra marital affair with his first love how would you feel ?

    Please don't put yourself in a situation that will never lead anywhere ..

    Let Banky go!!
    Put your foot down and end it !!
    End all contacts with him and set yourself free from this tangled web and focus on building a wonderful life with your husband .

    Take care of yourself and I hope you make the right decision .

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  9. great comment Yemisi.I av never really thought abt it extensively that we still cant be together.He is giving me hopes dat we do av a second chance together.I know for now both of us are thinking with our hearts.we both know it wont lead anywr but we both need the strength especially me to put our feet together and say no more.

    by d way ur natural hair is so georgeous on u.
    and Detoun thanx for putting dis up.God bless

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    1. My pleasure Chi..
      How can he even make you think there's a chance that you'll be together ?
      Has his memory faded so quickly lol backdating to when you both had the blood test and it came out as AS!!! If he's forgotten please gently nudge him and remind him .....

      A very wise Sikh once said Do Not Follow Your Heart, Instead, Follow Your Head......

      I think you should take the lead and tell him it's time to end this dangerous affair.

      Awww bless thanks for the compliment!

      Wishing you all the very best x

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  10. Wow! very painful, I feel ur pain my dear.I knw it hard 2 let go of sm1 u love BUT U knw wat, put love aside think wit ur head,stop building castle in d air..u knw it definitely can't work out since ur blood group doesn't match n dat was d reason y u guys seperated n besides both of u r married, so y waste ur time. Forget ur old love..focus on ur husband, if ur husby isn't treatin u like u want, let him knw so he can make changes. I wldnt want u 2 make a decision dat u will definitely regret because if ur husby finds out, u might end up loosing him n I'm very sure banky wnt leave his wife n accept u.

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    1. thank u pretty Lolade.I take all advise on board.luv u all

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  11. Am so loving dis blog, full of matured minds

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  12. D traffic was a little bit hellish&I'm visibly tired..infact a friend had suggested I get a good night sleep&i swear I had planned to ooo b4 Chi come to do true confession..ok oo...Well Chi, my name is Deborah&the only person Detoun has given the right to judge on dis blog..so don't worry,u av come to d right blog..so u won't av many pple judging u...just joking ooo..
    How clichéd..I know u are already in a state of ETC(End of Thinking Capacity).I know lots of questions are composed somewhr in ur brain but ur mouth won't jst speak them..to think I was in d biz too at some point..but didn't go deep..I cldn't bear to cheat on my hubby....Yes, I cried for many days when we broke up,but I psyched myself d@ I wasn't having anytin to do with him until we met again...thanks God 4 my pastor Mrs..I talked to her abt it&d@ was all..I just needed to talk to some1...Chi, I feel I can hold u right now & assure u u are gonna be fine without Banky...pls no path crossing again..don't wallow in sometin I call "a short-lived joy"..and pls don't make this anymore awkward than it already is...There is something irritating d@ slices ones spine when u discover d mouth d@ has made love to u had also lied to u..pls don't put ur hubby in d@ state..u only want Banky now but u will later realize all u ever need is ur hubby..so identify ur want from ur need...luv u..

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  13. yes o dats my true confession o and relief is an understatement.i feel some kind of freedom from within me.i knew once I voice dis problem out,i will be able to reason well than before.All thx to u all and d comments and advise.lol xstardess,ur comments always make sense even though u appear as a playful chick.Luv u more.thanx and God bless u and ur home

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  14. He is married do u think he will be ready to leave his wife for u b4 u destroy your home think carefully abt it love grows with time ull come to love your husband there had to be something u saw that made u marry him

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  15. Chi, I went tru d same 3 years ago.I was engaged to this wonderful guy until We did blood test and bam! It couldn't work out.We continued seeing each other cos We were too heart sick to let go. It took all d strength I could. muster to let go.Til today, I still think about him and when We saw each other 3 months ago,d feelings were still there .He told me he's not happy in his marriage dat he still loves me But hey,life must go on. It's one of those backhands life deals us. My summary is,don't spoil what u have now for what you'll never have.

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